This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
