just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
