dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
