my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Randomize
