Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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