you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
