is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
