Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
vagina is talking i cant
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
