"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
