Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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