I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
