oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
