I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
