You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
