Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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