you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
