He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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