Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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