The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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