Im at strip club and am horny
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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