This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
