Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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