it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
