Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
