Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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