I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
