i would punch a child for taco bell
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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