i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
