you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
