Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
