In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize