dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Still dying that you shit outside
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
