Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
