508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
