wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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