That's intense
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
