Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
