This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
