never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
