Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
