It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
