Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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