I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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