I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
