Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
