im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
