i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he shaved USA in his pubs
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
