physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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