I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
