it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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