She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
