dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
