great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
